P S SUNDAR'S ARTICLE ON HIS SON -- 5

THE JOY OF GIVING 

BY P.S. SUNDAR. 

Among the lessons my wife Shyamala and I learnt from our only son Vignesh who succumbed to muscular dystrophy in 2003 was the joy imbedded in giving. And, to coincide with his ninth death anniversary on Oct 21, we are experiencing the joy of donating our bodies for medical research and possible organs’ transplantation when we die. 

 Vignesh had just completed 15 years and was in Plus Two when he breathed his last. He was confined to wheelchair with absolutely no physical activity worth the name but was gifted with excellent mental faculty. He was a topper in exams and many competitions including elocution, essay writing, Mathematics and project preparation. At a time when computer had not become popular with children, he had already floated his own website. Even the night before he passed away, he had updated his website. When we discovered it after his demise, we derived satisfaction that we were fortunate to give him a feeling of living until his last moment for, a person who was threatened with death a few moments later would not care to update his website! 

 In the 15 short years he lived with us, we noticed Vignesh using all his limited strengths to help others. During the Matriculation public exam and the Plus One common exam, mothers of his classmates used to drag their wards to our home for Vignesh to help them succeed in the exams. And, he had the knack of throwing up successful practical tips to those who had not been used to studying all through the year! There had been many instances of ‘instant successes because of his guidance! 

 And, he was the first and last resort for his classmates to depend on when they had to complete assignments. He was always ready to help them with smile so much so his Vice Principal R Swaminathan described him, ‘a rare soul who vanished into the galaxy when others were wanting him much’. The Vice Principal dedicated his book to the memory of Vignesh and wrote that because of this, he derived greater satisfaction in writing this book than when he wrote his three previous books. “I had not taught Vignesh any lesson but learnt from him the art of helping with smile”, he wrote to us. 

Every Deepavali and Pongal, Vignesh took enormous pleasure in gifting new sets of dress to the nearly six persons who worked for us to help him in ozhichal and pizhichal Siddha treatment, driving to school and toiletry. Equally so to the needy with dress and sweets. The impact was so powerful that in the year he passed away, none in the seven other houses in the campus we lived celebrated Deepavali! 

 On his demise, we donated his wheel chair, exercise cycle and other equipments to the hospital which treated him for seven years. Subsequently, we donated the eyes of all elders in the family on their demise. We donated blood on possible occasions and now, we are donating ourselves sharing Vignesh’s joy of giving – when shared, grievance halves but joy doubles and the joy of giving multiplies! 

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