P S SUNDAR'S ARTICLE ON HIS SON -- FIFTH ANNIVERSARY

“TIME-OUT”:

WE LIVE IN OUR SON’S MEMORY.

BY P.S. SUNDAR

Today (Oct 21) is the fifth death anniversary of our only son, Vignesh.  He was 15 years old studying in Plus Two when he breathed his last.  Just 15 months before that The New Indian Express had carried his article saying that despite scoring top rank in Matriculation exam, he had chosen Commerce group in Plus Two for two reasons: One, he was physically disabled and hence could not attend laboratory classes which meant, he could not pursue engineering or medicine courses; two, he did not believe that students who scored top marks in Tenth class should go only to science and maths groups as excellent chartered accountants, cost accountants and company secretaries came from commerce stream.  His article expressed his desire to become such a professional.  But he passed away mid-way.

Vignesh was growing up like other children in Coonoor until we noticed while in class four, he faced problems for walking fast, running or jumping. Our friend, Dr K. S. Pothi, diagnosed it as a rare disorder called muscular dystrophy.   “There is no cure for this growing disorder.  It wastes the muscles, makes the patient immobile, cripples him to wheel chair and chokes breathing to death.  The end may come soon”, he warned us.

Shocked we were, but from then onwards, it was an unending trial of looking for light in the dark tunnel.   Acupuncture, acupressure, homeopathy, ayurveda, physiotherapy, callipers – the poor child underwent all tortures in the name of treatment.   One evening, Vignesh fell down while standing and suffered a fracture, but never ever did he walk thereafter.  We came across Dr K Gunasekaran of GK Siddha Hospital in Perambur, Chennai, who instantly became our friend and comforted him through ozhichal, pizhichal, othadam, oil massage etc.   My wife shifted to Chennai with Vignesh where he studied for eight years and I kept shuttling.   

Despite doctor’s advice, we decided not to go for second child to give undivided attention to Vignesh.  After all, he was not a rotten brinjal to be thrown away and fresh one bought for replacement.   Every working day, even when Vignesh was in Plus Two, Shyamala took him to school, attended to his toilet requirements, fed him and brought him back in the evening.  She bathed him.   She helped him to move pages, open books and work on his computer in which, he was excellent.  She could never be away from him. 

We gave him paraphernalia comforts like air conditioning, computer and television.  He floated his own website. He helped his classmates for their studies and had a wide circle of friends.  His school’s Vice Principal dedicated to Vignesh a book he had authored.  We believe Vignesh enjoyed his short life with us.   My wife and I learnt from him the nuances of caring for the disabled, the benefits of being patient, the meaning of life lying between birth and death and the importance of organ donation and helping others.

My wife and I wound up our Chennai establishment after his demise and are living ‘together – still alone’ in Coonoor practising whatever we learnt from him. Truly, the child is the father of man! 

(PUBLISHED IN THE NEW INDIAN EXPRESS DT OCT 22, 2005)