P S SUNDAR'S ARTICLE ON HIS SON -- 11::

Dec 3, 2018..

Today is the International Day of Persons with Disabilities.

On this day, I recall my article I wrote on the 15th demise anniversary of my son a little more than a month ago .. 

He led a life of disability during his short life of 16 years ..
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15^TH DEMISE ANNIVERSARY OF OUR SON, VIGNESH:

MY WIFE AND I LIVE ‘TOGETHER’ STILL ‘ALONE’

By P S SUNDAR

This day, 15 years ago, (Oct 22, 2003) was the last day I saw my son Vignesh – the very last look of him I had was just before the funeral flame engulfed him in the crematorium in Perambur, Chennai, as he had left us forever to an eternal world the day before, Oct 21, 2003, after living with us for a short period of 16 years and 16 days.

A fortnight prior to this, I had, on my way back from Japan, seen him when I stayed for a couple of days with him and my wife Shyamala who was taking care of him in Chennai.   Before returning to Coonoor to pursue my work, I had promised to spend a month with him while going for Deepavali holidays.  Accordingly, I had reserved ticket to go to Chennai on Oct 23 as Deepavali was on Oct 25.

But, on Oct 21, my wife phoned to convey the saddest news of his demise and I changed my programme and rushed by car to Chennai that day – a day when rain was pouring cats and dogs all through my way to Chennai.  So, I could not keep up my promise to spend more time with him.  

I reached Chennai in the morning of Oct 22 and in fact, I spent only a couple of hours with him but he did not give me company, he did not respond to my expression of affection as he lay motionless inside the freezer coffin box.

Shyamala had kept his school bag ready the previous day itself but instead of taking him to the school which he loved the most, I took him to the burial ground, unknown to him and me with over 1,000 persons attending his funeral.

When I returned from the burial ground and saw his wheelchair, school bag, books, pen, dress, bed, computer, smilie ball, that’s when I experienced the oft-said reality, ‘You can take nothing with you when you leave planet Earth’ !

But, you can leave plenty on the Earth when you leave the world – lasting changes in the lifestyle of many, especially the deprived and the needy. 

And, most importantly, a lesson we learnt was that you should never fail to give your best at the right times to the people requiring them because you will regret forever if you fail to do that.

In our case, Vignesh was suffering from a rare disorder called ‘muscular dystrophy’ for which till today, there is no cure in any part of the world.  He was crippled to wheelchair for eight years and so, Shyamala did everything for him even as he was in Plus Two.  So much so, when his Headmistress told me, “Sir, at least for the pains your wife took, we wished that Vignesh became all right”, I replied, “If there is one person whom I can call ‘Mother Theresa’ inside the family, it is she, it is she and none but she”. 

At least from that point of view, we don’t have regrets because we have the satisfaction of having done whatever was possible to help Vignesh live a relatively better life despite all his physical limitations.

Now, Shyamala and I live ‘together’ but still ‘alone’ as Vignesh is living with us in only memory!

(Response can also be sent to: pssundar.coonoor@gmail.com) 

LANDMARK -- 2:

GOVERNMENT HONOURS NILGIRIS CULTURAL ASSOCIATION.

Tamil Nadu Government has honoured P S Sundar for his excellent service to the cause of culture as President of The Nilgiris Cultural Association.

Nilgiris Collector Innocent Divya honoured him with a Ponnadai and citation at Ooty..

"I am honoured to honour you Sir", she said.

B Hemanathan, Asst Director, TN Govt Art and Culture dept., said that the special honour was in recognition of Mr Sundar's service to protect rural art forms.

(response can also be sent to: pssundar.coonoor@gmail.com)

P S SUNDAR'S ARTICLE ON HIS SON -- 10:

WE MISS BUT RECALL OUR SON ....

By P S SUNDAR

Today marks the 14th demise anniversary of our son Vignesh.

On every anniversary, I had written highlights from the 16 short years he had spent with us.

This time, I thought of recalling his sojourn with us with his motivating article published in Chennai edition of The New Indian Express on July 10, 2002.. ( the scan of the article appears here)..

Express says in this article that Vignesh hoped to become a Chartered Accountant, Cost Accountant and Company Secretary like me, but he passed away when he was studying in Plus Two in Chennai.

So, his dreams remained unfulfilled but he lives in our dreams every single day...

(response can also be sent to: pssundar.coonoor@gmail.com) 

LIFE ENRICHMENT -- 17:

UPGRADED OLD AGE HOME PROVIDES COMFORT TO DESERTED ELDERS 

BY P S SUNDAR.

A treatise on M N Trust's 'Anbalayam' Old Age Home in Denalai village, 10 kilometres from Coonoor, appears in this blog as LIfe Enrichment - 4 ::Caring for elders, a passion and mission", reachable by clicking :: http://pssundarthinktank.blogspot.in/2013_12_01_archive.html.

The last highlight on the way the inmates deciding to donate their eyes appears as Life Enrichment -- 15 reachable by clicking :: 

https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8418786817872308721#editor/target=post;postID=6327245195602307245;onPublishedMenu=allposts;onClosedMenu=allposts;postNum=5;src=postname ..

Now, the Old Age Home has been re-dedicated to the deserted elders with lots of improvements in infrastructure ...

My article on this appears in The New Indian Express as under:: 

A glimpse of the infrastructure and activities at the upgraded Old Age Home now :: 

(response can also be sent to: pssundar.coonoor@gmail.com)

LANDMARK -- 1 ::

'LEELA 80' -- A CELEBRATION STRESSING VALUES 

BY P S SUNDAR

Leela Raju, daughter of N Lingan, reached 80 years age on March 6, 2016.

we are seeking her blessings

i had documented the following three major articles in this blog on Lingan, the first Badaga lawyer and fist Indian Chainsaw of Ooty municipal council::


1. Lingan's contributions recalled with gratitude::

http://pssundarthinktank.blogspot.in/2013/11/nostalgia-3-lingans-contributions.html

2.  Re-dedication to follow Lingan's great ideals::

http://pssundarthinktank.blogspot.in/2013/11/nostalgia-4-re-dedication-to-follow.html

3. Lingan's 50th death anniversary ::

https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8418786817872308721#editor/target=post;postID=7399189425944690158;onPublishedMenu=allposts;onClosedMenu=allposts;postNum=16;src=postname.

Today, my article on 'LEELA 80'  has appeared in The New Indian Express as follows.

photographs have been added to make the blog more visually representative...

 LINGAN – LEELA’S ‘FAMILY TREE’ LAUNCHED

BY P S SUNDAR

The relatives of the world’s first Lawyer from Badaga, the predominant community of Nilgiris and the first post-Independent Indian Chairman of Ooty municipality N Lingan, launched his ‘family tree’ as part of 80^th birthday celebrations of his daughter Leela Raju here on Sunday.

“This is our befitting contribution to my father ahead of International Women’s Day on Tuesday as he had positive thoughts on educating women because of which, I became the second Badaga woman to go to University”, Leela told Express.

At ‘Leela 80’ function, she spoke of the high ideals imbedded in her by her father and urged younger generation to support women education and empowerment.  She exhorted women not to sacrifice their role to groom family members into responsible citizens.

“The family members have pledged to uphold Lingan’s and Leela’s great ideals for society’s overall enrichment”, Leela’s son and General Manager of Gateway Hotel Coonoor R Muralidharan said.

Executives of Gateway Hotel Coonoor greeting Leela Raju

(response can also be sent to : pssundar.coonoor@gmail.com)

SEASONAL THOUGHTS:

A CHRISTMAS IN SUMMER

BY P S SUNDAR

Having witnessed Christmas season in many European countries over the years, I had a different experience of Christmas season in Australia and Fiji Island this month.

For one, in Europe and most countries elsewhere, Christmas season means peak winter and some in snowy conditions.    In Australia and Fiji, it is peak summer now.  I saw sun setting at 8.30 pm and rising at 5.30 am in Sydney.   The day temperature rose to 41 degrees Celsius with television channels screaming that it was historically high heat.   Clearly, it is Christmas in summer.

In Sydney, Christmas celebrations began on November 26 – a month ahead of Christmas – and will go into the New Year.   All over Australia, educational institutions are closed from November till February 2016.   Christmas business is peaking and students are seen working in such business houses to earn some money during their vacation.   This is more so for Indian students who prefer to remain there rather than spend on travelling to home.  I saw Indian postgraduate students (boys and girls) and PhD scholars working as waiters in Indian restaurants like Saravana Bhavan and local Taj.   “Usually, I do part-time work but now being Christmas vacation, I am doing full-time work”, Tinju a post-graduate student from Kerala, told me.

Christmas mood has been set in at Sydney with the icon Christmas Tree at Martin Place where people share their Christmas messages.  So too the  ‘Christmas Green’ at Hyde Park.  I saw volunteers sweating in the scorching sun in Sydney’s Opera House surroundings creating pavilions for Christmas concerts.   The very enjoyable ferry ride from the jetty near Parramatta to Circular Quay via underneath ANZAC Bridge and Darling Harbour Bridge gave me a feel of Christmas season with decorations on many buildings on river bank.

And at Circular Quay, a walk took me to Christmas Village Bizarre with street musicians and magicians in operation.   Further down, the Opera House surroundings stood testimony to Sydney’s determination to provide among the best Christmas attractions this year as I saw pavilions being erected to present music, fun and frolic.  The 200 years memorial at Royal Botanical Gardens also echoed Christmas sentiments.

“Every year, with my friends, we see Christmas and New Year world-class fireworks display at Sydney”, R Subramanian, an engineer in Goulbourn near Canberra said.

“Sydney never fails to impress.  Some highlights now include the world-renowned fireworks of Sydney’s New Year Eve and Sydney Festival”, says Australian Tourism Minister Stuart Ayres.

The Melbourne city has made it free travel in public transport.   I saw Christmas decorations all over the streets in Bourke’s, Lonsdale, Collins, Swanston, Elizabeth etc surrounding The Eureka Skydec.   Restaurants are busy attracting visitors with Christmas specials.  So too are textile shops where sale with discounts happens.   Gifts shops and Santa Claus are everywhere.   There are many Christmas markets in the side-streets.   The youth are spending many hours in the streets, eating, strolling, expressing love and fraternity.  Being summer, the youth are in their minimal possible dress – not so much to speak of Christmas dressing !

And, in the hype of all these, there are candles, cakes, colours, celebrations, cards, carols and countless gifts – but Church and Christ are missing.   “Once I was in New Zealand on Dec 24 night and wanted to attend a Christmas Mass when I discovered that Churches were closed because Priests were enjoying Christmas party with their kith and kin elsewhere”, Rani Baliah, staying in Suva, Fiji, told me.

“We celebrate New Year earlier than most of the world”, Nandu Naidu living in Suva said.    2016 will don there over seven hours earlier than it does in India. 

(response can also be sent to: pssundar.coonoor@gmail.com)    

P S SUNDAR'S ARTICLE ON HIS SON -- 8::

THE DAY WHEN MY COMMUNICATION FAILED

BY P S SUNDAR

Communication, written and oral as also body language had always been hailed as my strongpoint.   Being a faculty of many institutions, international and domestic, I deliver a lot of lecture on varied topics.   Being a prolific writer in media, not a day passes without my article appearing in some publication or other.   So much so, replying to many people who want to know what I am doing, I have said, “Talking or writing is what I do .. reading and listening to strengthen these!”. 

But then, there was a day when I could not talk what I had to say... And, all I had to say were just three words .. they were words of truth, ground reality and embodiment of an irrevocable reality...

So, it was a case of being in difficulty to utter not a lie but truth.. a truth so hard to digest despite years of mental preparation ..  

These three words came up to my throat every time I had to mention to my contacts but they failed to raise above that stage at ease, got swallowed in sorrow and forced me to exert a greater effort to eject them from my throat.

In the Indian epic Mahabharatha, Bhagavad Githa enjoys a special status for the communication skill of Lord Krishna in making a confused Arjuna clear in mind.  In the other epic Ramayana, Hanuman excels in communicating to Lord Rama the truth of his having sighted Goddess Seetha in Ashok Vanam in Sri Lanka for which He is hailed as ‘Sollin Selvar’ (Master of word).

Both these epics, however, describe the verbal numbness a parent undergoes –  a scenario diagonally opposite to these communication excellence .. and that happens when a parent (father or mother) witnesses and passes through the saddest moment of his/her child (son or daughter) dies.

Irrespective of ‘Poorva Janma prathipalan’ (impact of previous birth) concept of explanation, ‘Puthra marana Dhukkam’ (sorrow on child’s demise) causes communication failure.

And, in my case, the three words I had to say were ‘My son died” .. this day (Oct 21) 12 years ago.. when our son, Vignesh, left us forever to a destination beyond our imagination at an age of 16 years...

(response can also be sent to: pssundar.coonoor@gmail.com)