P S SUNDAR'S ARTICLE ON HIS SON -- 13

(OCT 5, 2020) 

THE LAST TIME WE HAD SEEN OUR SON VIGNESH LIVE WAS THIS DAY 17 YEARS AGO..

 

AND, WE LIVE WITHOUT A SECOND CHILD BECAUSE..

 

BY P S SUNDAR

 

“Why did you not go for a second child when you know the first one is disabled?”

 

This is a common question my wife and I face from well wishers

 

But then, it is not a new question to us.   Ever since our only son Vignesh was diagnosed to be suffering from that rare disorder called muscular dystrophy (for which there is no cure till now) when he was just six years young, we had to encounter this question. 

 

And, that time, even some Doctors asked us the same, little realising the irreparable damage they were causing in the young mind of Vignesh.

 

He was so intelligent that even when he was 10 years young, he could understand messages conveyed in Tamil, English and Malayalam and as he grew older, in Kannada and Telugu besides a few foreign languages as well.    

 

So, on those intolerable occasions when a Doctor advised us to go for a second child with total indifference to the presence of Vignesh, we could see the child’s pleasant face shrinking like a punctured balloon.  Face was, after all, the index of the mind and therefore, the mind had virtually smashed hearing the Doctor’s advice.

 

The reason?  The message Vignesh’s mind was receiving was that he was becoming a waste and so, the Doctor was suggesting to us to go for a second child – a replacement!

 

Can there be anything more cruel than this?   My wife Shyamala would just hug him to her body and say, “Fine, let’s go from here!”.

 

But, I started taking another approach and tell the Doctor, “Thanks, Doc, but we certainly know the methodology to go for a second child and we didn’t come here to get that suggestion from you.   All we wanted to know is ‘Can you cure Vignesh?’   And, please understand that Vignesh is our son, not a rotten brinjal to be thrown away and go for another brinjal to replace it.   He is our darling son gifted to us by the Almighty and we will live together – only he with us!”.

 

“Besides, medically, you say, ‘muscular dystrophy’ is a genetic disorder although we could not trace this in the fore-parents of Shyamala and myself.  If genetic, with she and I being the same parents, how can you guarantee that the child we henceforth beget will not have this disorder and if so, how many disabled children we have to flood the world with before we could give birth to a normal child?”

 

No Doctor had a convincing reply but clearly, this created confidence and boosted the spirit of Vignesh to fight the terminal illness he was cursed to suffer.

 

We could see a blossoming countenance in him, a desire to live despite disability and what a divine 16 year-period he lived with us was!   Helpful, endearing, loving all, pious, scientific, rational, mathematical exponent, and an achiever – all before he breathed his last on Oct 21, 2003 – yes, today is the 17^th year we saw him live last.

 

He virtually taught us the values of life which we follow to the best extent possible.

 

Shyamala and I had conscientiously decided not to go for a second child so that we could give Vignesh total undivided attention which he needed having been confined to wheelchair.

 

Now, the wheelchair is with us but not Vignesh and, Shyamala is my second child and I am her second child! 

(Response can also be sent to: pssundar.coonoor@gmail.com)