P S SUNDAR'S ARTICLE ON HIS SON -- 11::

Dec 3, 2018..

Today is the International Day of Persons with Disabilities.

On this day, I recall my article I wrote on the 15th demise anniversary of my son a little more than a month ago .. 

He led a life of disability during his short life of 16 years ..
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15^TH DEMISE ANNIVERSARY OF OUR SON, VIGNESH:

MY WIFE AND I LIVE ‘TOGETHER’ STILL ‘ALONE’

By P S SUNDAR

This day, 15 years ago, (Oct 22, 2003) was the last day I saw my son Vignesh – the very last look of him I had was just before the funeral flame engulfed him in the crematorium in Perambur, Chennai, as he had left us forever to an eternal world the day before, Oct 21, 2003, after living with us for a short period of 16 years and 16 days.

A fortnight prior to this, I had, on my way back from Japan, seen him when I stayed for a couple of days with him and my wife Shyamala who was taking care of him in Chennai.   Before returning to Coonoor to pursue my work, I had promised to spend a month with him while going for Deepavali holidays.  Accordingly, I had reserved ticket to go to Chennai on Oct 23 as Deepavali was on Oct 25.

But, on Oct 21, my wife phoned to convey the saddest news of his demise and I changed my programme and rushed by car to Chennai that day – a day when rain was pouring cats and dogs all through my way to Chennai.  So, I could not keep up my promise to spend more time with him.  

I reached Chennai in the morning of Oct 22 and in fact, I spent only a couple of hours with him but he did not give me company, he did not respond to my expression of affection as he lay motionless inside the freezer coffin box.

Shyamala had kept his school bag ready the previous day itself but instead of taking him to the school which he loved the most, I took him to the burial ground, unknown to him and me with over 1,000 persons attending his funeral.

When I returned from the burial ground and saw his wheelchair, school bag, books, pen, dress, bed, computer, smilie ball, that’s when I experienced the oft-said reality, ‘You can take nothing with you when you leave planet Earth’ !

But, you can leave plenty on the Earth when you leave the world – lasting changes in the lifestyle of many, especially the deprived and the needy. 

And, most importantly, a lesson we learnt was that you should never fail to give your best at the right times to the people requiring them because you will regret forever if you fail to do that.

In our case, Vignesh was suffering from a rare disorder called ‘muscular dystrophy’ for which till today, there is no cure in any part of the world.  He was crippled to wheelchair for eight years and so, Shyamala did everything for him even as he was in Plus Two.  So much so, when his Headmistress told me, “Sir, at least for the pains your wife took, we wished that Vignesh became all right”, I replied, “If there is one person whom I can call ‘Mother Theresa’ inside the family, it is she, it is she and none but she”. 

At least from that point of view, we don’t have regrets because we have the satisfaction of having done whatever was possible to help Vignesh live a relatively better life despite all his physical limitations.

Now, Shyamala and I live ‘together’ but still ‘alone’ as Vignesh is living with us in only memory!

(Response can also be sent to: pssundar.coonoor@gmail.com)