P S SUNDAR'S ARTICLE ON HIS SON -- 13
(OCT 5, 2020)
THE LAST TIME WE HAD SEEN OUR SON
VIGNESH LIVE WAS THIS DAY 17 YEARS AGO..
AND, WE LIVE WITHOUT A SECOND CHILD
BECAUSE..
BY P S SUNDAR
“Why did you not go for a second child
when you know the first one is disabled?”
This is a common question my wife and
I face from well wishers
But then, it is not a new question to
us. Ever since our only son Vignesh was
diagnosed to be suffering from that rare disorder called muscular dystrophy
(for which there is no cure till now) when he was just six years young, we had
to encounter this question.
And, that time, even some Doctors
asked us the same, little realising the irreparable damage they were causing in
the young mind of Vignesh.
He was so intelligent that even when he
was 10 years young, he could understand messages conveyed in Tamil, English and
Malayalam and as he grew older, in Kannada and Telugu besides a few foreign
languages as well.
So, on those intolerable occasions
when a Doctor advised us to go for a second child with total indifference to
the presence of Vignesh, we could see the child’s pleasant face shrinking like
a punctured balloon. Face was, after
all, the index of the mind and therefore, the mind had virtually smashed
hearing the Doctor’s advice.
The reason? The message Vignesh’s mind was receiving was that
he was becoming a waste and so, the Doctor was suggesting to us to go for a
second child – a replacement!
Can there be anything more cruel than
this? My wife Shyamala would just hug
him to her body and say, “Fine, let’s go from here!”.
But, I started taking another approach
and tell the Doctor, “Thanks, Doc, but we certainly know the methodology to go
for a second child and we didn’t come here to get that suggestion from you. All we wanted to know is ‘Can you cure
Vignesh?’ And, please understand that
Vignesh is our son, not a rotten brinjal to be thrown away and go for another
brinjal to replace it. He is our
darling son gifted to us by the Almighty and we will live together – only he
with us!”.
“Besides, medically, you say,
‘muscular dystrophy’ is a genetic disorder although we could not trace this in
the fore-parents of Shyamala and myself.
If genetic, with she and I being the same parents, how can you guarantee
that the child we henceforth beget will not have this disorder and if so, how
many disabled children we have to flood the world with before we could give
birth to a normal child?”
No Doctor had a convincing reply but clearly,
this created confidence and boosted the spirit of Vignesh to fight the terminal
illness he was cursed to suffer.
We could see a blossoming countenance
in him, a desire to live despite disability and what a divine 16 year-period he
lived with us was! Helpful, endearing,
loving all, pious, scientific, rational, mathematical exponent, and an achiever
– all before he breathed his last on Oct 21, 2003 – yes, today is the 17th
year we saw him live last.
He virtually taught us the values of
life which we follow to the best extent possible.
Shyamala and I had conscientiously
decided not to go for a second child so that we could give Vignesh total
undivided attention which he needed having been confined to wheelchair.
Now, the wheelchair is with us but not
Vignesh and, Shyamala is my second child and I am her second child!
(Response can also be sent to: pssundar.coonoor@gmail.com)
